It was Wednesday evening…midday of the week. This is the day with mixed feelings. Monday is gone, Tuesday is gone. Thursday and Friday to come! So it is exactly the middle day of the working week. Happy about half the week has passed and weekend awaited eagerly. At work it was not a hectic day but strenuous though. There are some days when you feel something is wrong about this day…no reasons, no explanations. Took a bus to the station with Emilly Griffin’s Baby Proof and wanted to finish with it. A long queue for the bus, could see dark clouds clustering but sun peeping through some. In England, mostly it gets sunny after office hours. The weather is predictably unpredictable. Rain and sun play hide and seek and we are helpless left with no choice rather than enjoying this. A girl ahead of me with burgundy coloured hair was actually pepping the gloomy weather. She was on her phone speaking to someone about how exciting her day was and that really annoyed me. A blonde behind was hopefully speaking to her BF about her sport venture and how she plans to go running after reaching home. A group of boys in their jerseys and shorts discussing about Chelsea and I was sure they were football lovers. In all everyone had a happening day perhaps me! I buried my face in the book and last 2 pages-woosh woosh....done with the book. It feels very nice when you finish reading a book almost like you have achieved your goal. It gives you a sense of accomplishment. The bus arrived and I packed the book in my Jhola. I was not hopeful about getting a place on the bus but luckily got a seat. With no clue about what to do I stared staring through the windowpane. It started raining. I wonder how once upon a time as kids we all loved rains and now it only reminds us of inconvenience. The burgundy hair lasso was seated beside me. She took her headphones out and tucked it in her ears. That reminded me of my headphones which I seldom carry as I prefer reading. I too tucked in my headphones almost feeling like a copy cat!
My playlist is not even updated and has all old songs with very few new Bollywood songs. I shuffled the playlist and played the music. The very first song was ‘Naam Gum Jayega’ – a very touching and meaningful song. Remembered how Papa told me today about the demise of one of my cousin who wasn’t very close to me but I always enjoyed talking to her..a very distinct way of taking and cracking jokes she had…Naam Gum Jayeg, Chehra yeh badal jayega meri aawaz hi pehchaan hain…beautiful, melodious. I couldn’t forget Sadhna (my cousin) throughout this song. I did make a notice that the bus was on the move after checking in everyone. Students standing and chatting, I could only see their lip moments but I was in the middle of this beautiful song. The song ended and the bus too stopped at a stop. Ek Pyar ka Nagma hain…maujo ki ravani hain was the next song. Couldn’t stop myself thinking about Ms Nanda (actress) from this song as she recently passed away. Jindagi aur kuch bhi nahi…teri meri kahani hain. How true, everyone has a Kahani to tell, Sadhna too had. Unfortunately she is no more to narrate her kahani. Sadhna’s death news was what made me sad today. She died at a young age with two kids behind. My heart goes out for her kids and right now very annoyed with God’s decision of snatching her away from her kids…so rude, unfair. Anyway the next song was Zindagi ke Safar mein gujar jaate hain jo makaam…and the bus stops at the next stop. The burgundy haired girl walks out of the bus and the seat is taken by a tall boy who has his ears pierced and with tattoos all over his hands and neck. I am back to my song…Phool khilte hain, Log milte hain, Pathzad mein jo phool murzha jaate hain who baharon ke aane se khilte nahi…it perfectly suited Sadhna’s story. After her husband’s death life was never same for her but still she always smiled. Kuch log ek roz jo bichad jaate hain who hazaron ke aane se milte nahi…and yes Sadhna will never come back and perhaps I too should stop thinking about her. She has gone on an eternal journey where she will probably be the happiest. The next song came as a surprise – Mere Sapno ke raani kab aayegi tu....and I was moving my neck rhythmically with the song. I was least bothered if others were seeing me, after all music is to enjoy-set your mind free. I was smiling imagining Rajesh Khanna and the shy, dimply Sharmila Tagore. With this song playing I reached the train station. I thanked the Driver and stepped out. The train had already arrived on the platform and I rushed in before the doors closed. With the train whistling in the song I just couldn’t smile at the coincidence of being in a train with this song. I enjoyed it, loved it…felt like doing a jig like Rajesh Khanna but controlled. The next song was Hoga tumse pyara kaun humko toh tumse hain…another train song and I laughed. Noticed passengers looking at me but to save myself from embarrassment looked out of the door pane. It was beautiful outside. Drizzling, lush green mountains – the patch between Bath Spa and Bristol is amazingly beautiful. Kehte ho ke jaye lekin yeh batlao..jaye bhi toh jaye hum kahan..Beautiful sentence. I love this song more than the Chaiyya Chhaiya. Padmini Kolhapure and Rishi Kapoor’s love is so serene and pure. The next song and rather the last song as the station is approaching. I have to pick A from the nursery. I am excited to see her. Hanste Hanste kat jaye raste…jindagi yun hi chalti rahe…what a meaningful song again. This is life. Smiles and tears, Happiness and Sorrows are a part of life. A rose is beautiful with thorns, a life with happiness and sorrows is a life lived, after a tear comes the smiles, with darkness comes light, with life comes dreams and hopes. Whatever happens is bound to happen. It is better to leave it and move ahead. I didn’t leave Sadhna but I moved on. I had my rest of the day waiting for me. My daughter waiting for. I reach her nursery and the moment I see her…my baby smiles and crawls towards me…the song continued…hothon se bijli chamke jab, jab tu muskati hain, saare hasino se hasin tu ho jati hain…I packed her bag and off we were to our happy home….
R.I.P Sadhna – you will always be remembered as a woman who wore an innocent smile with a wounded heart….